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Botnik’s Predictive Keyboards Write Brilliant New ‘Harry Potter’ Chapter!

It’s not canon, but it’s so ironically perfect that maybe it should be! Reading like the most incredible Harry Potter-themed MadLib ever, a new chapter in the iconic story was composed by predictive keyboards from Botnik after analyzing the content and patterns of all seven J.K. Rowling epics.

The new chapter, dubbed “The Handsome One,” falls in the larger fiction of the hilariously-titled Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash. It is outrageous genius and a must read–like something from the minds of the Weasley twins only, somehow, better. There are loads of genuine laugh-out-loud moments, and by the end you’ll be flabbergasted by the notion that a computer could get our favorite characters SO RIGHT.

Featuring our beloved trio, every line of the chapter is a gem. As Botnik boasts, the results of its experiment are “spell-binding!”


One of the most memorable Ron Weasley descriptors is “Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself,” followed closely by the excerpt, “Ron was going to be spiders. He just was. He wasn’t proud of that…” There’s also this personal favorite: “Ron threw a wand at Voldemort and everyone applauded.”

(What can you expect, really, when our heroes are back to battling their old nemesis, Voldemort, and his unusually-polite cohorts, and they’ve got to protect the castle like always!? As the aphorism says, it’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it…)

And the story definitely takes a few gritty, dirty turns–literally!


After Hermione’s family is unceremoniously eaten, by Ron no less (that probably puts a damper on their relationship), she leads the charge in true Hermione-fashion: “Look,” Hermione said, “Obviously there are loads of Death Eaters in the castle. Let’s listen in on their meetings.”

Not the daring route Harry would take, perhaps, but Hermione is usually the cautious voice of reason in the group. That doesn’t mean she isn’t as brave as the rest when the need arises, however, and this Hermione is plenty feisty. Enjoy this hilarious snippet:

‘Voldemort, you’re a very bad and mean wizard,’ Harry savagely said. Hermione nodded encouragingly. The tall Death Eater was wearing a shirt that said ‘Hermione Has Forgotten How to Dance,’ so Hermione dipped his face in mud.


And now, about the Boy Who Lived, this exchange sums up everything:

Harry could tell that Voldemort was standing right behind him. He felt a great overreaction. Harry tore his eyes from his head and threw them into the forest. Voldemort raised his eyebrows at Harry, who could not see anything at the moment.

Read the entire chapter from Botnik Studios Predictive Writer project here. It’s a truly innovative technological application, and we’re just excited to be on the receiving end of it! Mashable reported that Botnik CEO and co-founder Jamie Brew said of the scheme:

“The idea of Botnik is that humans and machines working together can come up with things that neither would be able to on their own.”

That would seem to be the case, but we wonder what J.K. Rowling would say? We have no doubt her incomparable imagination could produce something equally unique–and without the assistance of a computer. But we’ll enjoy it anyway, because it’s brilliant. Christmas has come to the fandom early–the more Potter, the better!

As one of the concluding sentences says, “‘We’re the only people who matter. He’s never going to get rid of us,’ Harry, Hermione, and Ron said in a chorus.

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A new Harry Potter book has been written…by predictive text

The internet and Harry Potter fans are abuzz about the latest addition to the Wizarding World, despite it not actually being written by the best-selling British author J.K. Rowling.

The book, titled Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash (catchy isn’t it?) is published by Botnik Studios. You may think that entrusting my opinions to a fairly flimsy personalised learning algorithm is a risky stance, but it’s considerably safer than using it to write a novel – as creative collective Botnik did with a new Harry Potter book which is unlikely to be made into a big budget Warner Brothers movie any time soon.

The AI was trained with all seven books in the popular book series. But here’s the catch: It’s written entirely by predictive keyboard.

The Harry Potter fandom quickly adopted this new story. On Tuesday, the results were shared on Twitter, where they have already earned over 65,000 likes.

Behold, Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash, Chapter Thirteen: The Handsome One.

Ron Weasley in particular becomes a freakish caricature of himself, as a self-absorbed wizard that wears Ron shirts and uses Ron magic, least of all does “a kind of frenzied tap dance” and “eat [s] Hermione’s family”. The first Death Eater confidently leaned forward to plant a kiss on his cheek.

Harry then encounters Voldemort, and reacts by tearing his own eyes from his head and throwing them into the forest.

“‘Not so handsome now, ‘ thought Harry as he dipped Hermione in hot sauce”.

Just four pages long, the very short chapter is filled to the brim with odd, confusing, and hilarious lines that Twitter users are quoting, finding it hard to pick a favorite.

Poor old Harry Potter than “falls down the spiral staircase for the rest of summer” and yells: ‘I’m Harry Potter.

Things don’t really improve much after this unfortunate incident, with Ron experiencing a bit of a meltdown when Death Eaters land on top of his castle.

Though the story is certainly unusual, some commenters were surprised by how coherent it is.

‘Then I took the best pieces of copy, arranged them into a narrative, and wrote some copy to fill in the gaps, ‘ he said.

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Predictive text AI writes its own Harry Potter story filled with dancing, Ron magic & cannibalism

Artificial Intelligence has some pretty useful functions, from powering your smartphone to an adaptive enemy in a video game. Botnik Studios has been testing its own AI in the form of a predictive keyboard, enabling it to write its very own Harry Potter chapter for hilarious results.

Botnik’s AI was initially trained using all seven of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter books, consuming all of its data and coming up with its own algorithm as to what it expects a real human to write next. It’s similar to the predictive texting on smartphones but more advanced.

Needless to say, very few humans would have written the text that appears in Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash. In fact, so much so that the magical themes of the wizarding world are swapped for a dash of darkness and a whole load of nonsense.

Ron Weasley in particular becomes a bizarre caricature of himself, as a self-absorbed wizard that wears Ron shirts and uses Ron magic, least of all does “a kind of frenzied tap dance” and “eat[s] Hermione’s family.” Then again, I’d say him throwing his wand rather than using it was rather in character to his original self.

While the AI did the brunt of the work in creating this fantastical nonsense, human interaction was needed to clear it up a little for clarity. All of the story beats, if you could truly call them that, remain intact.

It seems that while industry experts like Elon Musk still has concerns about AI technology, it’s nowhere near the stage in which it can comprehend human emotion or true cognitive thought.

KitGuru Says: I’ve avoided spoiling much of the content as I found it a hilarious read on two separate occasions. If this is Chapter Thirteen, I want the other twelve and beyond but, of course, this might not be to everyone’s tastes. What did you think about Botnik’s AI-powered predictive text?

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AI-powered predictive keyboard rewrites fills Harry Potter chapter with cannibalism, sexual tension and self-abuse




PREDICTIVE TEXT has got us into all manner of trouble; Chris Merriman once tried to order a pizza and ended up on a trip to Pisa; Carly Page tried to buy a sofa and ended up with IKEA software, and Roland Moore-Colyer…well the less said the better. (we’ll tell you later – CM)

Supposedly trained to know what we want to write or hoover up our data and figure out our word preferences, predictive writing often works with some accuracy but a good bit of the time serves up bizarre results; for some reason our Pixel 2 XL likes to correct ‘phone’ to ‘Phoenix’, not that were are fantasy writers, or perhaps we will one day rise from the ashes of humanity as glorious INQ-branded robots.

But sometimes the lovely guessing games our phones play with our messaging can yield something beautiful, in this case, a Harry Potter chapter written entirely using predictive text. We shut you not.

Some boffins over at Botnik Studios, a community of smart folks doing odd things, came up with a predictive keyboard trained on the text from all seven of the Harry Potter books.

From there the keyboard was left to form a new chapter for the Harry Potter series using algorithmically constructed sentences.

Now the tech-savvy amongst you will already know where this is going; the keyboard served up something that was certainly a departure from JK Rowling’s fantastical novels.

For a start the predictive keyboard dubbed the book Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash, we guess there are a lot more ash and burnt things in the book that we remember.

But things get more bizarre as the chapter begins with ginger-icon Ron Weasley devouring Hermione’s family as if the Harry Potter films have been blended with Silence of the Lambs.

“Ron was standing there and doing a kind of frenzied tap dance. He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione’s family,” the chapter explains.

The Death Eaters, the distinctly bad and we guess hungry guys in the books, decide to have a tender kissy moment.

That’s before Hermione decides to stick one of their faces in the mud after he declares she has forgotten how to dance; a rather extreme reaction for what seems to be a bit of light-hearted banter.

Other highlights in the chapter include: “Ron was going to be spiders”, “Harry tore his eyes from his head and threw them into the forest”, and “Magic: it was something that Harry Potter thought was very good”.

The chapter is certainly a wild ride of emotions and physical activity, though we’d question the narrative flow and plot beats, which seem to channel part Rowling and part Salvador Dali’s surrealism. It’s worth noting that human writers were tasked with making the text a little less insane but the gist of it was not removed.

Clearly, a project that embodies the idea of fun, Botnick Studio’s artificial intelligence (AI) algorithm shows that despite the fears of tech luminaries like Elon Musk and poo-water chugging Bill Gates, AIs have some way to go before they can replicate human writing, emotions and simple understanding of the world.

This is particularly good news for us as we don’t want robot writers to nick our jobs…….[initiate wry journalism mode]. µ


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Harry Potter chapter written by bots is magically terrible


Is there a spell that can write more Harry Potter books that aren’t robotic-sounding?

Warner Bros

J.K. Rowling, you’re in no danger of being replaced any time soon.

The bright Muggles at Botnik Studios trained predictive keyboards (one for narration, one for dialogue) on all seven Harry Potter books and produced a brand-new chapter about the young wizard. And great sizzling dragon bogies, is it awful.

“Our web keyboard app analyzes text files and offers the most common word sequences as suggestions to the human user, to help them write in the style of the source material,” Botnik CEO and co-founder Jamie Brew told CNET. (There’s a David Bowie-lyric version too.) “Then a bunch of writers in the Botnik community got together in an online chat room and pitched lines they wrote using the keyboard. Our editorial team cobbled these fragments together into the full chapter we posted today.”

Even the book title the bot constructed is hilariously horrible: Would you line up at a Barnes & Noble at midnight to buy a copy of “Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash”?

There are plot twists Rowling never imagined. Ron Weasley “immediately began to eat Hermione’s family,” while wearing something called a “Ron shirt.” Hufflepuff House has a pig that pulses like a large bullfrog. Ron “was going to be spiders. He just was.” One of Hogwarts’ passwords is “BEEF WOMEN.” And not to spoil the ending, but Harry falls down a staircase “for the rest of the summer” before issuing an overconfident warning.

“The reaction has been great,” Brew told CNET. “I think my favorite response so far is this amazing art by character designer Elsa Chang.”

There’s also a Botnik-ed version of an “X-Files” episode, if you want to believe — in howlingly bad computer writing.

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Proof that Hermione waited six years for the perfect comeback to Ron

Holding a grudge against someone isn’t always healthy, but it can focus you into creating the perfect comeback. 

One person, albeit fictional, that held a grudge for a vast amount of time was Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series. 


Warning: Harry Potter spoilers lie ahead.

The person that she held the grudge against was her future husband Ron Weasley. It was resolved in the final book of the epic saga, The Deathly Hallows

Now, in case you aren’t too familiar with the entire Harry Potter story, this little nugget of information will require a bit of explaining. 

During the devastating Battle of Hogwarts in the final book Harry, Ron and Hermione go in search of the evil Voldemort but have to tackle the monstrous tree, the Whomping Willow first.

At that very moment said tree is going a bit mad, causing all sorts of bother and flailing its branches around in a very dangerous fashion. 

Here it is on a slightly better day. 


Picture: Giphy

Anyway, as always with Harry Potter (or any type of fantasy fiction for that matter), there is a way to stop this sort of thing.

On the Whomping Willow, there is a button which will stop it from moving around and causing havoc but at that very moment, Ron can’t find it. 

Knowing that this of the utmost importance, Hermione can’t help but use this moment to unleash her scathing comeback which she has in reserve for years.

Here is a picture of the passage in the book, originally shared by Reddit user JabTheJesusFreak.

Hermione waited six long years for this.

This little, throwaway comment from Hermione might go over a few people’s head but it stems all the way back to the first ever book The Philosopher’s Stone

In that book they also find themselves faced with a tree based problem after they become entangled in the deadly roots of the Devil’s Snare, which become tighter the more you fight back.

To solve the problem, Hermione suggests that they set it on fire which Ron isn’t a fan.

He bellows in reply:



And there you go. 

Six years of resentment laid to rest with one super sassy shut down. 

Nice one Hermione. 


Picture: Giphy

HT Bustle

More: Harry Potter fans are better humans according to science

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How old is Miriam Margolyes, what are The Real Marigold On Tour star’s biggest films and who’s her partner Heather …


The award-winning actress is stepping into the world of documentaries with the return of travel show The Real Marigold On Tour

MIRIAM Margolyes has had a varied career across stage and screen.

But who is the award-winning actress and what are her biggest films? Here’s all you need to know…

Miriam Margolyes is an award-winning actress of stage and screen

Rex Features

Miriam Margolyes is an award-winning actress of stage and screen

Who is Miriam Margolyes and how old is she?

Miriam Margolyes is a 76-year-old actress of theatre and film.

Born in Oxford in May 1941, Miriam started her career as a voice actor.

The award-winning actress scooped up a BAFTA for her role in Martin Scorsese’s The Age of Innocence in 1993.

She has starred in theatre productions on Broadway and London’s West End and took on the role of Madame Morrible in the original cast of Wicked.

What are Miriam’s biggest movies?

Miriam is undoubtedly best known for her role as Professor Sprout in the Harry Potter franchise.

The actress appeared as the Head of Herbology at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and helped Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger in The Philosphers Stone and The Chamber of Secrets before returning to battle Voldemort in The Deathly Hallows.

Miriam’s other screen credits include Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet and the 1996 adaptation of James and the Giant Peach.

She’s also no stranger to the small screen having had cameo appearances in Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple series and iconic animation, Rugrats.

Miriam continues to keep busy with several TV projects

Rex Features

Miriam continues to keep busy with several TV projects

Who is Miriam’s partner and what has she said about marriage equality?

Miriam is in a civil partnership with Heather Sutherland, her partner of 48 years. They live together in London, Tuscany and Australia.

However she has spoken out against marriage equality in the past.

She told The Observer magazine: “We’ve had a civil partnership, but the thought of referring to one another as “wife” makes me feel sick.

“I don’t understand why gay people are so anxious to get married.”

Miriam Margolyes has Holly Willoughby giggling as she gobbles an ice cream

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Redheads Are BETTER In Bed, So Ron Weasley’s Defs A Slytherin

We see countless articles and studies trying to prove that one person is better than the next, whether it be in the intelligence department, looks department, or success department…

And while we might pretend we don’t give a flying F about it all, when WE are the one’s named as ‘the most’ gorgeous/intelligent/sexy/whatever, we boast it like a little kid who just had a huge growth spurt. 

Now, in the next series of ‘this person is better than that’, new studies have suggested:

Redheads are better in bed


If you’re a tween reading this, then yes – we mean they are better at ‘sleeping’. 

If not, you know exactly what we mean. 

The findings come from a study by Hamburg sex researcher Professor Dr. Werner Habermehl

The study looked at the sex lives of hundreds of German women and compared results with hair colour. 

The Daily Mail quoted Habermehl, revealing, “The sex lives of women with red hair were clearly more active than those with other hair colour, with more partners and having sex more often than the average.

“The research shows that the ‘fiery redhead’ certainly lives up to her reputation.”

He also added that women who weren’t naturally redheads but dyed their hair read, put out a signal that they were looking for a partner. 

“Even women in a fixed relationship are letting their partners know they are unhappy if they dye their hair red. They are saying that they are looking for something better.”

We’re not totally convinced on that one, though. Some of us just wanna change of colour!

The connection between hair colour and sex life might not be down to something so outrageous, however, with psychologist Christine Baurmann explaining, “Red stands for passion, and when a man sees a redhead he will think he is dealing with a woman who won’t mess around, and gets straight to the point when it comes to sex.”

Any redheads in the house that agree with this?

Let us know in the Facebook comments!

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“Ron” de “Harry Potter” revela que ya no disfruta verse en las películas

El actor Rupert Grint habló sobre sus verdaderos sentimientos a la saga cinematográfica que lo vio crecer.

Daniel Radcliffe y Rupert Grint de Harry Potter.
Daniel Radcliffe y Rupert Grint de Harry Potter. | Fuente: Difusión Warner Bros.

Harry Potter es una de las sagas que más fans acumula alrededor del mundo. Sin embargo, uno de los actores, Rupert Grint, que da vida a Ron Weasley, ha comentado que ya no puede ver las películas, por una extraña razón.

Más en Studio92: Emma Watson está otra vez soltera y lo celebramos con estas fotos

“Creo que salir en las películas me las arruina. Ya no puedo disfrutar de Harry Potter, no como fan, ¡nada es lo mismo!”, ha contado en una entrevista con Radio Times. Sin embargo, el actor no ha contado la razón específica, si es por su forma de actuar o porque simplemente no le gusta verse en pantalla.


Rupert Grint también ha confesado que la sobre atención que recibe por parte de los fans de Harry Potter no le molesta, aunque sí que le fastidió en un momento de su vida.

Más en Studio92: ¡Stranger Things regresará para una tercera temporada!

“Definitivamente es manejable. Acabo teniendo que tomarme selfies (con fans) la mayor parte de los días, pero nunca me ha importado si hace feliz a la gente. Sin embargo, si que odio cuando la gente me toma fotografías sin preguntar. Era muy emocionante cuando tenía 11 o 12, pero se hizo muy duro en mi adolescencia. A veces solo quieres ser invisible”.

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